I find it privately hilarious when someone says,"Oh, person X would/wouldn't do that. I know her, she wouldn't do it." The claim that you can know someone so well that you can predict their actions and thoughts so accurately is ridiculous. I don't care how close you are to that person, I don't care how long you've lived with that person, I don't care how much that person talks to you...you can NEVER know EVERYTHING about someone so as to predict their thoughts, movements, actions and reactions. Making such a statement is simply the height of conceit. The most you can do is anticipate....give yourself an 80% accuracy rate. That's it, no more than that.
Does your victim follow a fixed schedule to which you are privy to? Are you telepathically linked to the victim? Does your victim pander to you and is willing to live her life around YOUR expectations? Are you the victim's personal deity?
You may think it unfair of me to label the subject as a victim, but that's definitely what she is. If you subject them to your high-and-mighty assumptions without their knowledge, then you ARE victimising them.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
I describe myself the way I am not.
I am a walking contradiction. I am a mini-paradox. I'm pretty sure other people are, too, but let's focus on what we can genuinely confirm here. I go through life doing stuff I don't like. I occasionally tell people what they want to hear rather than what I really feel. I sometimes blatantly lie about who and what I am. I wake up each day thinking about how to achieve goals I don't really believe in. I tell myself that I am something I am not. There are parts of me that I suppress, for the sake of myself and others.
The ideal is for me to do what I want, when I like it. This is almost never possible. My actions are governed by social guidelines, my regard and concern for others, my need to present myself in a certain light to people, and their own expectations of who I am (or who I should be). In order to preserve this delicate ecology of My Reputation and How Others Perceive Me, I am forced to speak, think and act in certain ways, ways that I naturally balk at but have to conform to.
Why do I do this? Why do I toil at going against my nature every single day? Why do I expend any effort at all cultivate a not-entirely-true picture of myself?
Realistically, the benefits are manifold. Some aspects of my nature can be classified "detrimental". My inherent sloth, my tendency to procrastinate....these are all properties that are best suppressed, since we all know that no one really changes, and therefore such "qualities" cannot be scoured away from my psyche under most circumstances. Overriding such tendencies provide immediate benefits that may or may not affect society at large. The most important thing here is that, for a while, I do become a better person.
Other benefits become apparent only in the company of others, and then perhaps only in certain situations. These include my habit of speaking plainly and bluntly, as well as my tendency to automatically stereotype a person based on whatever quality I happen to latch on about them, especially if I do not know them very well. Obviously, indulging in my nature in such situations could have disastrous results.
I like to think that we should all be free to just be ourselves. I like to think that this subtle game of charades I(we) play on a daily basis is totally unnecessary. I like to think that most of us are sensible, reasonable and tolerant individuals who understand and accept variety and differences within each person. I like to think that I am all that which I have described previously. But I'm not. I am ruled by emotions. I am a selfish, miserable soul that sometimes fails to rise above my own petty thoughts and inadequacies to think better of others. I am occasionally too lazy to give other the benefit of doubt, because it is so much easier to assume. And if this is how I function...how can I expect others to do otherwise?
It is far easier to pretend to be something that you are not, if only for a little while, than to actually change yourself. We are the generation of materialistic convenience. We want it fast, we want it easy. Apparently, this also applies to our personality matrices.
It is far easier to pretend, than to actually be.
The ideal is for me to do what I want, when I like it. This is almost never possible. My actions are governed by social guidelines, my regard and concern for others, my need to present myself in a certain light to people, and their own expectations of who I am (or who I should be). In order to preserve this delicate ecology of My Reputation and How Others Perceive Me, I am forced to speak, think and act in certain ways, ways that I naturally balk at but have to conform to.
Why do I do this? Why do I toil at going against my nature every single day? Why do I expend any effort at all cultivate a not-entirely-true picture of myself?
Realistically, the benefits are manifold. Some aspects of my nature can be classified "detrimental". My inherent sloth, my tendency to procrastinate....these are all properties that are best suppressed, since we all know that no one really changes, and therefore such "qualities" cannot be scoured away from my psyche under most circumstances. Overriding such tendencies provide immediate benefits that may or may not affect society at large. The most important thing here is that, for a while, I do become a better person.
Other benefits become apparent only in the company of others, and then perhaps only in certain situations. These include my habit of speaking plainly and bluntly, as well as my tendency to automatically stereotype a person based on whatever quality I happen to latch on about them, especially if I do not know them very well. Obviously, indulging in my nature in such situations could have disastrous results.
I like to think that we should all be free to just be ourselves. I like to think that this subtle game of charades I(we) play on a daily basis is totally unnecessary. I like to think that most of us are sensible, reasonable and tolerant individuals who understand and accept variety and differences within each person. I like to think that I am all that which I have described previously. But I'm not. I am ruled by emotions. I am a selfish, miserable soul that sometimes fails to rise above my own petty thoughts and inadequacies to think better of others. I am occasionally too lazy to give other the benefit of doubt, because it is so much easier to assume. And if this is how I function...how can I expect others to do otherwise?
It is far easier to pretend to be something that you are not, if only for a little while, than to actually change yourself. We are the generation of materialistic convenience. We want it fast, we want it easy. Apparently, this also applies to our personality matrices.
It is far easier to pretend, than to actually be.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Let's talk about Henry Thoreau and what a bitch he was.
I'm going to ignore the significance of today's date. It doesn't apply to me.
Anyway, a sweet, well-meaning soul sent me a little e-mail which had some religious significance, bla bla bla. The important thing here is that one of the comments within the e-mail implied that in order to live a better life, one should simplify. It gave the late Mother Theresa as an example, who had very little personal posessions and still led a life many people would be envious of.
So naturally this led me to think about simplifying my life. It took me all of 10 seconds to dismiss this ludicrous thought. Egads! Just 2 weeks ago I was trying my best to be as shallow as possible,"money is everything" and all that jazz and now I'm thinking of simplifying?! What would be left of me if I started dropping all the stuff such an ascetic lifestyle would deem unnecessary?
My new goal in life is to make more money, faster. My secondary goal is to use that money to do other stuff. Stuff like learning new things, picking up new hobbies, finding new friends, doing more travel, buy new STUFF....you know what I'm talking about. If I were to simplify, it would mean dropping all those goals to work towards another goal. And what goal is that? The lack of a proper mission in life is what led me down this dark, empty, materialistic, shallow road in the first place. I don't have anything to look forward to. I don't have someone to give my life to. In absence of such things, is trying to be a little richer than I already am so bad?
Strip away such materialistic ambitions and its rewards and all you've got is a guy who doesn't know what to do with himself.
I need this. I need to work for something, no matter how shallow, or ultimately worthless. I need to know that I am doing something beneficial with myself, no matter how temporal the results. I need to shield myself from the stark reality: that I am a reluctant rock, an island I didn't mean to be.
Anyway, a sweet, well-meaning soul sent me a little e-mail which had some religious significance, bla bla bla. The important thing here is that one of the comments within the e-mail implied that in order to live a better life, one should simplify. It gave the late Mother Theresa as an example, who had very little personal posessions and still led a life many people would be envious of.
So naturally this led me to think about simplifying my life. It took me all of 10 seconds to dismiss this ludicrous thought. Egads! Just 2 weeks ago I was trying my best to be as shallow as possible,"money is everything" and all that jazz and now I'm thinking of simplifying?! What would be left of me if I started dropping all the stuff such an ascetic lifestyle would deem unnecessary?
My new goal in life is to make more money, faster. My secondary goal is to use that money to do other stuff. Stuff like learning new things, picking up new hobbies, finding new friends, doing more travel, buy new STUFF....you know what I'm talking about. If I were to simplify, it would mean dropping all those goals to work towards another goal. And what goal is that? The lack of a proper mission in life is what led me down this dark, empty, materialistic, shallow road in the first place. I don't have anything to look forward to. I don't have someone to give my life to. In absence of such things, is trying to be a little richer than I already am so bad?
Strip away such materialistic ambitions and its rewards and all you've got is a guy who doesn't know what to do with himself.
I need this. I need to work for something, no matter how shallow, or ultimately worthless. I need to know that I am doing something beneficial with myself, no matter how temporal the results. I need to shield myself from the stark reality: that I am a reluctant rock, an island I didn't mean to be.
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