'Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays.'

I hate Mondays.

On second thought, I think that may be a little bit of an understatement.

I ABHOR Mondays. I am repelled by it. It symbolises the start of another cycle of self-inflicted agony, responsibility and deadlines. It reeks of hopelessness, claustrophobia and depression, a certainty that one will never escape the cycle of failed objectives for a long, long time.

I celebrate every Monday by projecting a semblance of misery, neglect and mourning. My hair is wild and uncombed, my eyes are black coffee rings left by some dumb fuck who doesn't use a coaster, my expression is one of utter dejection. I shamble my way to my desk and plop down onto my chair unceremoniously. My shoulders are hunched, I sigh a lot and my responses are just a touch slower than usual. I do not wear socks (thus increasing my own suffering as my toes turn blue from frostbite due to freakish central air-conditioning). I would wear sackcloth and rub ashes onto my forehead and moan throughout the day, but I like the prospect of unemployment even less.

On Monday, my inbox never fails to delight me with one of my boss's "insights" into how I can improve my productivity and teamwork skills. On Monday, multiple customers will call up with requests for "enhancements", whether viable or not, coupled with unrealistic deadlines. On Monday, my desire to curl up and fall asleep under my desk peaks at dangerous levels. On Monday, the spectre of deadlines and test schedules loom over my head like a dark cloud threatening hail and lightning. That strikes the same place repeatedly. Every 5 minutes. On Monday, Death beckons.

I understand that my condition isn't unique. I understand that I am not the only one who gets melancholic when Sunday night comes around, because we realise that there's work tomorrow. I understand that some people have it far more rough than I do, and may not even have a weekend to enjoy. But damn it, this is about me, and I really hate Mondays.

Fuck you, Monday. Fuck you. Just go and die somewhere else and leave me alone.