I wish I could remember my dreams.

I woke up this morning with the rapidly vanishing hint of a dream on the tip of my mind's tongue. I froze and tried my very best to remember what it was all about, but failed to garner any useful details. As I sit here typing this, all I can remember of it was that it had the heady rush of new love and an old VW van in it. I mean, new romance and an old hippie van in the same dream? It must have been really something.

This can be really frustrating for me. I don't dream a whole lot, but when I do, I get a sense that there's probably some kind of genius storyteller deep within my subconscious. It comes up with all sorts of impossible and entertaining situations where I am usually the star of the whole thing, kind of like bad fan fiction. The best part is that it seems to be fully grounded in the whole 'alternative universe' theme, where everything still follows the laws of gravity and physics and yet is completely impossible for me to replicate in real life. But it could have happened that way. Somehow.

I have thought about keeping a dream diary, but honestly, I cannot fathom myself furiously scribbling into a spiral-bound notepad upon awakening. I'm more likely to stare at you blankly for a few seconds before lurching over the bedrails and shuffling to the kitchen to get a glass of water. This body was not made for instant action.

From my hazy recollection (and probably imagination) of what dreams I have had, there are never any action-filled scenes and explosions. All I get are hints of possibly strong emotions and drama going on. People speak directly into my mind instead of moving their lips, and I already know what's going to happen but am unable to do anything about it as my avatar in the dream acts out his role flawlessly in a story that has me gripping the edge of my ethereal seat.

I have read opinions which surmise that dreams are basically fragments of feelings and memories that the mind drags up and manipulates for its own amusement and play, while the body rests. It does not necessarily reflect inner feelings or the subconscious mind itself. I'm not sure how accurate this is, so I'll be ignorant and think that this is probably partly true, but that the parts of you that you repress in your waking hours for whatever reason also surfaces at this time. This is why I can empathise with the actor playing me in my dreams, but it's not something that I can repeat in real life.

I am glad that dreams are only dreams. But there are some times that I wish fervently for them to come true, even if all I can remember of them is the lingering sense of some deep-seated emotion and a familiar face or two.

I'm not making sense, I know.