The spoken word.

I am not a phone kind of guy. My cellphone is so old I don't even know its model anymore. It is one of those first-generation colour screen and polyphonic ringtone Nokia types, no mp3 playback, no camera, nothing. It is at least 4 years old, ancient by today's standards, and about the only thing going for it now is that the battery runs out quickly if someone tries to hold an extended phone conversation with me.

Yes, I admit, I don't like phone conversations lasting more than 3 minutes. They try my patience, make my ears burn, and are either totally one-sided with me shutting up most of the time or filled with awkward pauses. If I want to talk to you for more than 3 minutes, there are better ways to do it. ONE: instant messengers. TWO: I fucking drive to your place or we meet up somewhere and talk face to face. Long phone conversations strike me as the lazy person's way of catching up with someone, or ambushing the callee (I may be making this word up but I don't care) to entertain you while you're stuck in traffic or doing something equally boring.

If you live reasonably nearby (within 40-50 kilometres) then I would rather meet up with you, drive if I have to. If you don't, there's the ubiquitous instant messenger software. The only time I would actually call you for a long phone conversation or entertain a long call is if I have not seen you in a while and genuinely miss your awesome company. Then, and only then, would hearing your digitally recompiled voice for more than 3 minutes be welcome, rather than resented.